Love as defined by google is an intense feeling of deep affection. It is believed that love is enough for a relationship to work but that’s not the case, a relationship requires so much more than love to work. It requires effort, trust, understanding, communication, patience, and a lot more. The absence of any of these results in a break-up. Self care after breakup is very important.
Breakups usually hurt a lot. They make you feel worthless, heartbroken, unloved, used and so many yucky emotions all rushing through your mind. Overthinking takes over. The nights are sleepless and so hard then comes the day which is as hard as the nights. Well, the cycle continues and becomes a vicious one.
How to break this cycle ?
You got to do something to break this cycle. That’s where you got to bring in a huge dose of self-love and self care after breakup. During this time, you got to be your own best friend, your cheerleader, your motivator, you got to make yourself your number one priority.
Make yourself your number one priority
You’ve got to ask yourself what you’re living for, who you are living for, and if none of those answers begin with you then you’re living your life wrong. You’re living a lie. Everything you do should revolve around you, every person, every place, every moment should start and end with you. This is your life you shouldn’t spend it on dull things, on people who don’t understand the type of love you carry within your bones.
Because you only live once and it’s your job to make it count. So let every day be yours, own it and never apologize for being who you are, and remember that breakup doesn’t define you. We usually start to doubt ourselves after the breakup but imagine if you invested the same energy that you use to doubt yourself to believe in who you are and all that you can do. Imagine if you thought of best-case scenarios. You start doing it now. Your mind can be retrained and guided to be optimistic and a believer.
See good in everything
Break-ups can seem unfair but you are the only one in charge of your destiny. Unfair things may happen to you, unfortunate times may come to you, but you always get to choose how you respond. You can live in frustration and bitterness, or you can be the bigger person and just play the hell out of the cards you are dealt. The truth is that not a single person can choose the cards they receive, but everyone chooses how they play their cards.
Know your self worth
Anytime you feel worthless because of your breakup remember the only one who gets to decide your worth is you. It doesn’t come from your bank account or the number of friends or your relationship status. It doesn’t come from what someone else says you are worth. It’s called self-worth for a reason it comes from you. It comes from being yourself and being proud and content with who you are. It comes from being someone that you can count on and someone that you love. Your relationship status will change with time, but what won’t change is who you are deep inside- beautiful, limitless, wonderful, creative, strong, capable, and that is where your worth comes from.
Love yourself unconditionally
Your perception of yourself affects your vibe. Love yourself, be confident in your looks, express your talents, let your good vibes flow. Also, be so rooted in your being that nobody’s absence or presence can disturb your inner peace. You got to stop thinking and sulking about the person you broke up with instead divert your mind by doing self-care activities after a breakup.
Secret of being happy
The secret of being happy consists of knowing how to enjoy yourself at the table, in bed, enjoy standing up, sitting down, enjoying the nearest ray of sunshine, the slightest bit of landscape: in other words, love everything and most importantly love yourself. Growth is painful, change is painful. But nothing is more painful than staying stuck somewhere you don’t belong. It’s not selfish to love yourself. You are your superhero. Self-care is a deliberate choice to gift yourself with people, places, things, events, and opportunities that recharge our personal battery and promote the whole health of the body, mind, and spirit.
You don’t just wake up someday and fall in love with yourself. It Takes Time, It takes patience, but more than that it takes self-compassion, empathy, and kindness from yourself to your own heart. You have to be brave enough to forgive yourself for all the mistakes that you have made and all the changes you didn’t take like all the other forms of love you will learn. To love yourself by practicing self-love and Self care after breakup.
When healing from a person, you will have thoughts like “I have loved them more than I loved anyone, I have anyone, I never knew I could love someone so much, I’ll never love someone that much again…”. It is important to realize that your ability to love that person did not come from them, it came from within you. You were always a lover, already someone who could love deeply. Just because they are gone doesn’t mean that goes away. They didn’t give you the capacity to love, they just gave you a place to express it. Don’t give someone else the credit for hard you could love, that was you and it still is
Sometimes, healing consists of sitting in coffee shops and writing the years from your mind. Sometimes healing is laughing until you cry, kissing the faces of your friends, and being moved and inspired by your life. And sometimes, healing is rest, it’s hiding from the world, having everything inside of you, being still and quiet and eerily bare. Sometimes healing feels like nothing at all, like you are a silhouette of hope and hurt at the same time. Do not fight it. Whatever your healing looks like today, whatever it consists of, just allow it to be what it is. Just take care of yourself.
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Sarah Khan is pursuing CSE and is an author at Evolve.
Who strongly believes mental health is the overall strength.
Mail at firstname.lastname@example.org to connect with her.