Most of us are taught from a young age that being unselfish is a wonderful thing. “But I want the final slice of cake,” a youngster yells at her sibling. “Now, now, sharing is caring,” their mother chastises. So starts the life lesson of suppressing one’s needs, wants, and desires. It is important for one to learn how to put yourself in a relationship.
Years pass, and you’re still no closer to accomplishing your objectives or finding happiness. You become tired of saying yes to others and placing yourself lastly at some time in your life. As a result, a journey of rediscovery of what it means to prioritize yourself and your needs starts.
So, where do you begin? Here are three suggestions for how to put yourself first in a relationship:
- Recognize Your Negative Behavior
- Understand Your Own Needs
- Take the Time to Make Changes
Table of Contents
Recognize Your Negative Behavior
There are several reasons why we prioritize the needs of others over our own. It might be because you were raised to feel it was the proper thing to do, or because you had a sick parent to care for, or because you were the eldest sibling in the family.
The bad news is that you’ve squandered many years of your life attempting to satisfy others, and you may now believe it’s too late to change. The good news is that you can take action.
Don’t forget who you are and where you come from. You are made of the brightest stars and widest oceans. you are made of the highest mountains and tallest trees. Remember you are made of magic and dreams, wishes and light. You have heroes, warriors, kings, queens, god, goddesses flowing through your veins. You come from infinite possibilities and incredible odds. Mainly you are here for a reason, never put anyone else before you. Hence one must learn how to put yourself first in a relationship.
Understand Your Own Needs
Before you can prioritize your demands, you must first identify them. What are your values, what does your ideal relationship look like, and do you trust your spouse to look after himself/herself?
It is critical to begin taking care of yourself rather than prioritizing your partner’s needs. This is especially true for women, who are natural nurturers. We sometimes make the mistake of treating our guys like toddlers. That is not only detrimental to the partnership, but it is also detrimental to them as persons.
Be kind to yourself throughout your journey. Let yourself feel everything you need to feel. Say the words you need to say and always put yourself first in a relationship.
Take the Time to Make Changes
Take your time making modest improvements that will have a huge influence on your life. Change your attitude about yourself, and devote more attention to your health and happiness. Begin caring for your body, spirit, and mind. Meditation is a great approach to get to know yourself better.
Guided meditation has numerous benefits and advantages. If you’re looking to start meditating or build your practice, you should experiment with both guided and unguided meditation and see what works for you. If you want to get started on your journey of guided meditation or meditation at home, we can help.
Examine your negative patterns carefully. What causes you to focus on your partner’s needs rather than your own? Is it out of insecurity, or do you intervene only when they are truly in trouble? If it’s the latter, look deeper within yourself.
Do you feel inadequate and obligated to prove yourself by caring for them? If that’s the case, it’s time to focus all of your love and work on someone else — you.
Whatever is bothering you, begin by being kind to yourself. Go out to dine, get a massage, listen to your favorite music, and sing your heart out.
Spend the day indulging yourself in whatever manner you can. What will happen is that you will begin to see the advantages of focusing on your own needs. And believe me when I say that taking care of yourself first will make you a better mate.
Don’t be frightened to spend time alone yourself. Learn to love yourself because you are the finest company you will ever have. It’s critical to get rid of the guilt. You DESERVE to be spoiled, cherished, and cared for. You are sufficient. Accept your own peculiarities.
Download the Evolve App to perform journeys like ‘become more self-aware’, ‘make self-care a ‘priority’ and ‘understand your relationship needs’ and these might prove to be very helpful for your personal growth and mental health.
Co-founder and brains at LeapX by C32 Media Labs
Mail at sarah@c32.media to connect with her.