Facts About Shy Guys
While it’s a very stereotypical idea to classify someone as shy or smart, sheepish or outgoing, most people happen to do so very often. A slight judgemental attitude characterises us all, and we can’t help but admit that all of us, at some point, must have described someone as ‘shy’. The term shy is not so commonly associated with men as it is, to women but shy guys do exist and exhibit certain characteristics which lead us to label them as shy. Various factors combined may be responsible for a guy being shy such as being bullied at school, being criticised on grounds of merit, ill-treatment by parents and family members, less exposure to the outside world, inherent traits and so on.
Characteristics of a Shy Guy
You might have generally observed that boys in their adolescence or teens are more prone to shyness and usually tend to grow out of it by the time they have reached their twenties but some people just don’t get cured. It’s not that shyness is a malady or a crime but then, the 21st century world that we reside in, treats it as one. And we ought to consider the demerits of possessing such an unwanted characteristic. Shy guys cannot easily mingle with people, opening up is a big deal for them, their soft and kind nature does not permit them to be harsh even in situations that demand being stern, they cannot be supremely confident like other guys who belong to the same age group and above all, their shyness acts as a major hindrance in the path of love. Some guys are so shy that they even find it difficult to be vocal about their feelings and keep themselves contented by just gazing at a woman they love, for years. Strange, isn’t it? Well, however weird you may find, this is the typical way in which shy guys behave and they have to be dealt with very delicately when it comes to matters of dating and love.
Tips for Dating A Shy Guy
Here are some very handy rules that you would like to check out in case your crush or boyfriend is a shy man and you are facing certain such issues dating him that you are not being able to sort out yourself nor seek anyone else’s opinion on:
- Do not tend to make his shyness a topic
- Interested? Show it!
- Find out the mode of communication he prefers
- Don’t expect loud, romantic proposals
- Shy guys are good listeners
- Try finding out common interests
- Appreciate his small gestures
- Make him feel comfortable around you
Do not tend to make his shyness a topic
It is human nature to grow extra conscious about something that is overemphasized. If you are in a relationship with a guy who exhibits all possible characteristics of shyness, try to shift his attention as far as possible from it. Do not bring it up as a regular topic of discussion and try not to advise him on how he could reduce his shyness because that might be triggering to some and also evoke a feeling of inferiority in others.
Interested? Show it!
Shy guys and introverts in general, are very hesitant to be the first one to speak up. A predominant feeling of inferiority runs in them that doesn’t allow them to initiate a conversation and therefore, it would be ideal for you to be the one to say a “Hello” or “How‘re you doing?” or wearing a warm smile whenever looking at them. You should try and manifest in as many ways possible, that you are interested in him and only then can he set his foot in to think about dating you.
Find out the mode of communication he prefers
Introverts, for a fact, thrive in chats and texts as much as they they falter every other minute when they have to actually speak. It is possible that the shy guy you are dating might find a great deal of effort in a face-to-face interaction with you and would rather prefer to chat, at least during the first few days of your relationship until he gets comfortable around you. Find that out soon and stick to the mode he prefers best while having a conversation.
Don’t expect loud romantic proposals
Don’t even remotely commit the mistake of assuming that a shy man is not romantic or they are less romantic. As a matter of fact, they are more and more incredibly so. They would give all they have in the world just to be with you or to get you something that you have long pined for, but they would rather not prefer to express. So, you should not expect loud expressions or declarations of love, or even magnificent proposals with a great deal of pomp and show but rather a subtle, beautiful proposal that would melt every corner of your ever so matured heart.
Shy Guys are good listeners
Now, you can almost take that for granted. However shy and ignorant they might seem, shy men are actually great listeners and most importantly, they remember every minute detail of anything that you ever mentioned to them. Appearances are deceptive after all and if he is not responding to every statement of yours, that does not at all mean that his aloofness is an indication that he is not interested in you.
Try finding out common interests
Common interests are very good topics of conversation. Difficult as it may seem, try finding out his areas of interest and his passions that are similar to yours from his friends or his social media. That would be a great insight into what his inclinations are. You could bring these topics up quite often in order to initiate long conversations that would draw his interest and urge him to speak more.
Appreciate his small gestures
A shy guy might not be throwing a surprise pool party on your birthday but will surely remember to buy you sweets from your favourite sweet shop every time you pass it by. Yes, that’s the kind of intimacy with which they understand you and that’s the kind of intricacy they have, deeply embedded in their character.
How To Make A Shy Guy Feel Comfortable Around You
If you really want him to get out of his cocoon and let down his guard around you without losing much time, you can really do something about it. Here’s how:
–Respect whenever he chooses to be silent around you because you don’t always have to talk; a sweet silence conveys more affection than words ever can.
–Hold his hand at times, in a way which does not make him feel awkward.
— Try smiling at him at every other opportunity you get.
— Make him believe that he is as good as others.
— Try explaining to him quite often how special he is to you.
— Allow him to express his natural self in an uninhibited manner.
— Defend him whenever and wherever he is being wronged.
Well, that’s pretty much it. If you can even manage to follow some of them, you can successfully date a shy guy without much troubles coming your way. Cheers.
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Damayanti Dubey is a final year English major at Loreto College, Kolkata. She is a writer by passion and loves to indulge in them, especially English, Bengali, and Urdu. She aims to explore all of their intricacies and nuances. Damayanti is a disciple of Padma Bhushan Pandit Ajoy Chakraborty and is a national scholar of Indian classical music. She has always believed that a sound mind, free from the clutches of regressive and negative thoughts is the key to living a healthy life and makes efforts to promote mental wellness through the power of her words.
She believes in thinking beyond boundaries.