Toxic relationships are very easy to identify since they exhibit certain characteristics which are exclusive to them. Being in a relationship with a toxic partner can be as bad as the consequences of cancer perhaps, so the best idea is to completely avoid toxic relationships. That being said, we do not mean to frighten you by any means, but at the same time, would sincerely exhort you to identify if you are in a toxic relationship and analyze your position in terms of the signs of a toxic relationship. To read about the specific signs of a toxic relationship.
Some such relationships include too much involvement of drugs and alcohol and are considered the epitome of toxic relationships. Other such relationships might contain issues less in the intensity of their seriousness like infidelity, dishonesty, manipulative behavior, lack of self-esteem, tremendous possessiveness, and plenty of other things. Now you might be wondering – Can’t toxic relationships be fixed? Well, the answer to that is a little ambiguous and it is from this ambiguity that the need to avoid such mentally taxing relationships stems from. It is not that they cannot be fixed at all but the scopes are limited since they involve a lot of consideration of the psychological orientation of the people in it and entail endless suffering on the non-toxic other. So, the wittier option is to stay away right from the beginning so that there is no chance of your damage. Such a relationship might seem attractive, exciting, and completely non-toxic in its initial period but with time, all those butterflies fade away and you realize how backbreakingly toxic it actually is.
How to avoid toxic relationships
We attempt to provide some of the greatest strategies that will help you avoid toxic relationships altogether
Figure out the reason of attachment
You get attracted and attached to somebody by virtue of the inner forces of human attraction with which you cooperate. So, you must figure out the answer to why or how you got attracted to the person who seems toxic. And the easiest way to find that out is to register and keep track of your feelings and emotions in your daily journal. A deep inner contemplation or consulting a psychologist can also work wonders in figuring this out. At times, we are also attracted to toxic people because we might have had negative, unfulfilling early-life attachments.
Establish healthy boundaries
No matter which age group you belong to or what kind of a person you are, some lines can never be crossed and that should be clarified at the very start of a relationship. Certain parts of you as a human being and as an individual of this society, are non-negotiable. Even if you have just started dating someone who appears to be toxic or intrusive beyond comprehension, you must establish a strong, healthy boundary between the two of you and also give your partner a good idea of where to draw the line. If you do not do that, chances are that your partner might take you for granted which be instrumental in reducing your self-esteem drastically. Dot leave room for that to happen.
Be surrounded by the right people
As the saying goes, man is known by the company he keeps. Surrounding yourself with people who know you, who care about you, and who are essentially your well-wishers is of utmost significance. They are the people who advise you correctly and contribute a lot to shaping up your life in a decent manner. These people can be friends or neighbors, relatives or teachers or anyone else you wholeheartedly rely on. They are usually aware of your temperament and would advise you to follow the track in life that suits you the best and not just entertain any toxic person that you are momentarily attracted to.
Date people with similar goals
A relationship is such a bond that should always grow and mature between two people who are similarly aligned and share common aspirations about the bond. Relationships with partners who do not have mental compatibility can quite often, be distressing. If they continuously misunderstand you and criticize you for no major reason at all and you end up feeling very lonely, then it is a clear indication that you should avoid moving forward with them or else, you would land up in a toxic relationship. Remember that a true lover won’t ever reduce you to an inferior position but would inspire and encourage you to grow, evolve as a human being and become a better version of yourself.
Communicate your feelings in an unfiltered manner
Just like you learn about your attachment style or your patterns of getting attracted to somebody, you also become increasingly aware of the internal strife that goes on within you. As you begin to understand your myriad emotions, your needs, your behavior, your fears, your weaknesses, or your ways of reacting to any situation, you start putting them together and deriving more meaning out of them. It is very necessary to be able to put forward these feelings and articulate them in an unfiltered, uninhibited manner. Speak out the truth as it is, whatever the outcomes may be. Communicating the truth undiluted requires a certain degree of transparency and vulnerability which would also entertain the other person to open up to you. Never lie just to protect your relationship from falling apart. If you feel the need to lie, then it induces toxicity later on and you should strictly avoid entering into any such kind of relationship.
Download the Evolve App to perform journeys like ‘become more self-aware’, ‘make self-care a ‘priority’ and ‘understand your relationship needs’ and these might prove to be very helpful for your personal growth and mental health.
Also read: How to deal with toxic relationships?
Damayanti Dubey is a final year English major at Loreto College, Kolkata. She is a writer by passion and loves to indulge in languages, especially English, Bengali, and Urdu. She aims at exploring all of their intricacies and nuances. Damayanti is a disciple of Padma Bhushan Pandit Ajoy Chakraborty and is a national scholar of Indian classical music. She has always believed that a sound mind, free from the clutches of regressive and negative thoughts is the key to living a healthy life and makes efforts to promote mental wellness through the power of her words.
Damayanti believes in thinking beyond boundaries.