“To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.” – Oscar Wilde
Man is made of his self-esteem among various other factors that constitute his character. It is a very integral part of any human being that defines their self-worth. Self-esteem is defined as the perception of the self by any individual; what they think about themselves, how worthy they consider themselves to be or how contented and confident they feel about themselves. Self-esteem is so important that it can influence a person’s self-confidence and massively impact anything they do. All human beings have a tendency to feel inconfident at various instances of life.
However, people with low self-esteem are always prone to suffering from very low confidence in anything they do and say. Suppose you are entrusted with the responsibility to deliver a speech at school or work, a person with normal self-esteem will find it easier to pull off this job rather than a person with abysmally low self-esteem. A person with low self-esteem always feels disturbed by the thought that they are not good enough. They always feel unsatisfied and treat themselves poorly, deem themselves to be valueless, thereby inviting ill-treatment from others. It is important to note that these feelings always do not have any base. They can often just stem from feelings of inferiority and an improper self-assessment. You might be capable of touching the sky or ruling the world but you haven’t probably discovered it yet!
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Common Causes of Low Self-Esteem
The reason for low self-esteem in a person has been interpreted variously. Here are some of them that you might relate to:
Facing excessive criticism since childhood
This is a very common factor that typically affects the way people think about themselves, irrespective of whether they are a child or an adult, a teenager or an old person. If you were criticised severely right since the day you dared to step out of your comfort zone, your cocoon, in order to try something new and challenging, then chances are automatically huge that every step you take in life, will be controlled by that restraining fear of being criticized- personally as well as professionally.
It’s sad that we inhabit a society where parents, teachers and mentors do not concentrate on appreciating and encouraging the children as much as they do on criticising them which in turn, lowers their self-esteem unthinkably.
Physical attributes
The body stereotypes that have existed in our culture for uncountable years now also plays an efficient role in lowering the self-esteem of any person irrespective of gender.
Women are expected to be beautiful in conventional terms with lean arms and legs and chiselled bodies, perfect in proportion while men are to be strong and muscular in order to keep up to the image of the alpha male that society idolizes.
Now, these ideal images of the man and the woman are very much, coherent to the unrealistic beauty standards propagated by big businesses or the media industry. As a result, people with imperfect bodies and not-so-attractive physical attributes start feeling negative about their bodies. This can at times, even lead to depression and affect mental wellness. People lack the confidence to carry themselves effortlessly and get extra conscious whenever they go out or present themselves publicly.
Why always treat bodies objectively! Why not subjectify them!
Bullying!
Very few of us can actually fathom the intensity of damage that bullying can cause to our mental health and as a consequence, to our self-esteem. it’s one of the strongest and most formidable causes of low self-esteem in a lot of us. Knowingly or unknowingly, most of us have, in a way or more, been victims of bullying either in school or college or workplaces for that matter. Peers play a huge role in this.
We are almost always judged by the social group we are a part of, and that pushes us to behave in a particular way, to fit in! But we do not realize that this entire process of fitting in, forces us to denounce our own self, our intimate thoughts and feelings- the person that we really are. If we do not do something that others want us to do or if we refrain from being someone whom we are not even remotely close to, bullying is the answer. People are bullied extremely disagreeably and that, is not fun. It changes the entire way we see ourselves and we suddenly begin to trace inadequacies in us that we had so long not discovered.
Trauma
When finding answers to what are the causes of low self-esteem, trauma comes up as an incontestable one. A physical or mental trauma might prove to be extremely assaulting to your self-esteem. Some people may have faced sexual or mental abuse back in the time and the effects of such traumatic experiences can be ever so perpetual. The events might have unfolded years earlier, but they silently stay with you, like a deep, secret scar that you carry with yourself, forever.
There might be situations when you feel all that happened was no one’s but your own fault, when in actuality, there was nothing you could do to help yourself. You might also experience serious triggers all of a sudden that might cause you to think of yourself as being valueless and inferior. Your thoughts can keep centering around a negative self-view that is again, detrimental to your self-esteem.
Judgements
We all are social beings and judgements are a part and parcel of our lives in society. Slight judgements pervade all of our everyday lives but when judgements are severe, then life becomes very difficult for some people. Some are affected by negative competition while some by critical comments and too many opinions. Many of us also go to the extent of being guided by people’s opinions and act accordingly. This hampers our self-esteem to a great deal.
Tips to Boost Self-Esteem
- Meet a therapist if it gets out of your control
- Comparison is a big no-no!
- Shrug off judgements
- Effective Meditation can prove to be very beneficial
- Love yourself and make that a priority
- Don’t try to fit into any image that society paints of you
The Evolve App is now globally live. Download the Evolve App and get access to numerous journeys related to self-esteem and self-improvement like ‘handle criticism better’ and ‘increase your self-love’. The app also has more than 50 audios to help you work on yourself and increase your self-esteem rapidly. Download today without delay and try for free on Android and Apple.
Also Read: Signs of Low Self-Esteem in Women and How to Fix It
How to Detect Signs of Low Self-Esteem In a Man?
5 Simple Ways To Boost Self-Esteem
Damayanti Dubey is a final year English major at Loreto College, Kolkata. She is a writer by passion and loves to indulge in languages, especially English, Bengali, and Urdu. She aims at exploring all of their intricacies and nuances. Damayanti is a disciple of Padma Bhushan Pandit Ajoy Chakraborty and is a national scholar of Indian classical music. She has always believed that a sound mind, free from the clutches of regressive and negative thoughts is the key to living a healthy life and makes efforts to promote mental wellness through the power of her words.
Damayanti believes in thinking beyond boundaries.