While being in a relationship we only tend to focus on sexual and romantic intimacy but actually what we tend to forget are the little things that steer the intimacy into the relationship, one such little thing being patience.
Being in a relationship is not just about the cute couple things or the romantic dates or the cute little things you do for each other. Sometimes love is not enough to sustain the relationship it requires a lot more than just love. To maintain a healthy long-lasting relationship what is required along with healthy communication, and trust is to be able to be patient in a relationship. There are no set rules that you can follow, to the patient in a relationship, every relationship is different and so is every one unique in their own ways, with verities of perspectives. Nevertheless here are some tips that can help you be the patient one
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1. Stop for a moment, take a breath
Relationships especially when you have dealt with past traumas and heartbreaks can become overwhelming, we live in a world of fast internet and instant connections we expect prompt replies and instant validation, and when we are do not get the constant reassurance we need, the word we are looking here for is not impatient but restless. don’t compare yourself to others.
You could feel restless due to multitudes of reasons, maybe because of crippling anxiety, could be also the lack of understanding and communication between you and your partner also be a reason. Constantly acting on those emotions that cripple inside us for a few seconds and can make us question all our decision is something that you will make not only our lives quite miserable. In the situation where we are very much tempted to act on those fleeting emotions take a step back and then take a deep breath. Breathing although a might seem like a redundant technique is one the of effective techniques to deal with anxiety and restlessness. Taking a deep breath helps you focus on yourself at the present moment and not worry about the future. It also helps concentrate the true deep self within.
From a scientific perspective, taking deep breaths in and long breaths out practiced for a minute, slows down heart rate, it also helps your body to cool down, also taking deep breaths clears off your mind and takes your mind off your present emotions of irritation or annoyance, or narrow thinking.
Practicing taking deep breaths on a normal day will act more effectively in the case of crisis or conflict.
2. Deal with a fight with an open mind and maturely
However, smooth sailing your relationship might be, fights and disagreements are inevitable and very much unavoidable, both being different people with different sets of opinions are bound to clash. In this moment of crisis, our patience can make or break our relationships.
How many very dramatic sensational scenes where the actors are throwing plates at each other and end with a full-blown breakdown, although in real life these actions might have very strong real implications, which might adversely affect your relationship. In these moments what is best is to hold your patience and walk away from the situation and address the problems when the emotional heights, that of anger or annoyance have subsided, then both of you could peacefully sit talk about the problem, and try to resolve the matter. Rather than trying to prove each other wrong, listen to each other’s perspective and try to understand their side of reason too.
3. Accept them as they are
To be in a happy long-lasting relationship you have to love and respect who they are, You have to respect the choices they make for themselves. Stop trying to change them or change yourself for them, it will make you become irritable. It will be very difficult to sustain the relationship between the two of you, you have some unrealistic aspirations for yourself as well as your partner. The couple goals of social media are not real, hence never compare your relationship with someone you see off the internet.
4. Give yourself and your partner some “Me” time
There should always be a dynamic between couples where they take each other date. Par take in couple’s activities, dress up. Suprise each other, which keeps the relationship spontaneous and fun. Don’t let your busy schedule make itself better for you or make your relationship boring.
Along with looking out for your partner by being on their side, making them happy makes you happy too. But also never forget to prioritize yourself and find out time for yourself, maintaining individuality will also help keep your calm. It is most of the time that one person gives so of much themselves into the relationship that they forget their individuality and thus end up losing patience and thus hampering their mental health as well as sabotaging the relationship.
Patience plays a very important to ensure a long healthy relationship, thus being open kind and considerate will increase your patience, and patience will ensure that you have a good mechanism to solve crises and handle crises.
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Madhuparna Choudhury is a final year student of political science, I find interest in the area of mental health and mindfulness. You can mail me at madhuparna3011@gmail.com