Finally, you both have decided to take this relationship forward. Both of you like to take it forward to eternity. Awesome! You get together more often now. You are on top of the world that you found your match. Fair enough.
As you go trumpeting your joy, you begin to hear tales of toxic relationships setting in. Storylines of how there are sparks of love that have turned to ashes. There are scowls instead of smiles are written on faces. So are tears of disappointment rather than joy. Whatever happened to the honky-dory times both were in! What happened is that this relationship is threatening to turn toxic! There are signs of cracks in the relationship. Toxic relationships don’t take seed overnight. Look up at our articles which suggest more about it.
Can you save yours? Yes, of course! Read on to know how.
First things first! Understand if your behaviours are the reason that attracts toxic people. Take a good look at what makes a relationship tick. All things work, well, almost all things work when you work at it.
Relationships are wealth
You have invested in this enormous wealth called relationship. Treat this wealth like you have done to your stocks and shares or any other investment of your hard-earned money. You need to work on relationships every day. Give it attention. Peer at it every morning, like you do at the business and finance page of the newspaper. Do you neglect getting the facts and the latest trend about your share market? See the direction that this relationship is swaying. So, it is with your personal relationship.
People make you
Surround yourself with cheerful, healthy people. Follow their habits and thought processes about maintaining a healthy relationship. There are studies that show that the company of emotions and people you keep daily, does rub-off on you. I read this in one of my reads: there is just one letter difference between asses and masses. Mm!
Success threats
All of us have the knowledge and skills to be successful. Appreciation of each other’s success is the cornerstone of any relationship. When this gesture of appreciation is not fulfilled, grouse will eventually lead to a toxic relationship.
It is a challenge if both partners are in the same field of work. There needs to be a self-assurance of one capability in the field. Although having a competitive spirit is healthy to be successful, competition is a bad Master. So, treading with compassion when your partner is not doing as well as you are, is the takeaway for a healthy relationship.
Keep a Me-time and a We-time.
As individuals, there’s umpteen number of times I have mentioned all elsewhere the stress on the importance of loving oneself.
Keep work at bay when you are together. Keep the phones on silent. No shoptalk. Make a pledge to do so. Enrol into hobby classes over the weekend. As partners you can try pottery, go fishing or a craft-making activity. It helps the relationship stay harmonious.
Take a good 20 minutes away from the din, and practice listening to or chant affirmations aloud. Or you can choose to follow your breath pattern. Breathing helps calm your nerves big time! Take up a hobby you have shelved many light years ago.
A start point I can suggest is to download EvolveApp. There is a hand-holding guidance to become a better you. It is designed with simple user-friendly ‘journeys’ to improve you.
Micro-management
There is no need to hover around your partner 24×7. It does not exhibit that you love your partner. It is a wide opening for micro-managing each other to set in. You will end up stepping on each other’s nerves and on a toxic relationship.
Fixing a budding toxic relationship
Building a relationship takes time and effort. A relationship demands constant work and reworks on it. It is a heartfelt investment of your mind and body in this relationship. You sense signs of crack despite your emotional investment, what should you do? You may be disappointed as the feeling engulfs you. One question reeling around you will be ‘How can I save this? How do I fix this?’
Time and patience
There may be issues which were swept under the carpet from time immemorial. Now that it has caused toxicity between the partners, revival will need time and patience from both the partners. Nothing of this stature happens overnight. So just be at it and clean-up.
Compassion
Love and Kindness are the cornerstones of any relationship. Treat each other with compassion. It is very important to have a sense of understanding and be sensitive to the partner’s triggers to an unpleasant behavior or response. Take a second to step back and think about the possible causes for this situation. Perhaps your partner has had a bad day at work or a tiff with a colleague or a friend. Let it pass instead of wielding the sword.
Let bygones be bygones
The unsteadiness in the bridging of your relationship is blaming your partner for getting yourselves in this toxic situation. Stop the blame-game. Accept responsibility. You cannot undo the done. Resist going back and forth of the scenarios.
Communication
Communicate your thoughts and feelings. It is the key to a better relationship. In fact, it is just listening without being judgmental over what is being said. Listen to what is being told. Be in the moment. Watch the mood sway to better.
Take Help
Redoing all of what brought you together has worked amazingly well in fixing a toxic relationship. Give yourselves a second chance, willingly. If all else fails, do not hesitate to take help, either professionally or from friends and family.
To gather it all up
Relationships are a wealth you have invested your time and emotions in. It does not take much of your energy to become toxic in no time. The Bridge of relationship gets stronger with age and utmost love and care. To swing it or crack it does not take much time for it to break.
To rebuild is a different ball game altogether. Having said that, if there’s abuse and the relationship is beyond repair, be sure and confident to walk away from it.
Read more: https://wanna-end-a-toxic-relationship-heres-what-you-should-do
Evolve strives to promote mental wellness and self-care through its blogs. The EvolveApp has won the best app for stress-free lifestyle. Download the app to experience calmness from anxiety.
From sharing her views on blogs in MoTA to being a blogger in it, Lakshmi Srinath has been writing her thoughts since 2010. Thanks to a persuasive face-reader, she took Content writing on to a next level since August 2021 with a certification in the same, from Henry Harvin Education, India. When she is not among her thoughts and words writing content, you will find her pursuing her hobby in art or gardening or just gossiping the latest on insta, with her daughter. She staunchly believes that mental wellness leads to physical wellness. Lakshmi lives in Pune, India with her daughter and husband.