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Define Toxicity & Who are Toxic People?
Toxicity is anything that adds up negativity to your life or upsets you. When you sense there is some negative vibe around you and someone’s presence affects you like that then it is toxicity and toxic people.
Toxic people are usually going through some trauma, stress or negativity themselves. But instead of working on it they push it on people around them. They try to drag you down and or control you. Toxic people won’t be happy with your success. If you spot anything like this then you are surrounded by toxicity.
How do we attract toxic people?
It’s a proven fact that we attract the same energy. What we attract somehow tells what or how we are. We might think that we are unlucky to meet people who hurt us but lowkey it has a lot to do with our actions.
Toxic people can be manipulative and may blame others for their own sufferings. This generates negative energy around us, and we blame ourselves.
Its also necessary to understand toxic relationships and ways on how to avoid relationships getting toxic, but before that let us find out what if our own actions are inviting this energy? Let’s find out!
Reasons Within Us That Attract Toxic People In Our Life
1. Comparison
If you are always comparing yourself with your peers let it be grades, money, social status, appearance etc. which makes you vulnerable and shows a lack of self-esteem. This way people know it is easy to manipulate you and anything they say will affect you a lot.
2. No Boundaries
When you have poor or no boundaries when it comes to people around you and you can’t say no to anything, then anyone can definitely take advantage of you. If someone asks you to do something you don’t want to but you do due to fear of losing them or your status, you actually give them the appearance that you have no opinion of your own.
This way it is easy to control your mind.
3. People pleaser/ imposter
You try to pretend you know everything and are intelligent in order to meet people’s expectations. Sometimes we might think the only way we can have someone’s attention is to become what they crave for.
4. You’re a saviour.
You can’t let things go. You think of yourself as a problem-solver, but this often implies breaking limits and destroying your relationships. People try to victimise themselves and make you want to fix their problems and take the responsibility for what happened.
Toxic people are drawn to you because they think they can take advantage of your good nature and desire to help others.
5. You’re easygoing.
You try to be even-tempered and neutral all the time. Even if it’s hurting you make it a habit and are used to it. People who are easygoing and optimistic can handle more toxicity and are more likely to give others way too much credit. They are able to forgive and be adaptive because of their forgiving nature.
This tolerance invites toxicity when you are being too kind to someone.
How To Fix This?
There’s nothing wrong with being kind and gentle to everyone but it should have some boundaries.
Whenever you feel like you’re not getting the same positive energy back, when you feel like they are draining your energy, when it feels like in the desire of spreading a positive vibe around you are receiving negativity for yourself, then it’s definitely the time to distance yourself from people.
Set appropriate limits and stick to them. Do value yourself and stand up for yourself.
Boost yourself to a healthy level. To relieve stress, use positive thinking and affirmations, be appreciative of your abilities and accomplishments, and concentrate on your goal and purpose. In these ways you will protect yourself from negative energy.
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Sharvari is a CSE undergrad and an author at Evolve. She is a dreamer. An explorer of life which she showcases in her writing. She writes to share, to learn and to be heard!