How to stay friends after a breakup is a big question. Few relationship concerns are as controversial as to whether or not you should keep in touch with an ex. For every individual who attempts to preserve the good while forgetting the terrible, there is another who would rather go on and never look back.
Nothing in life, including our aspirations and perspectives, remains constant. As we grow older, we begin to view things in a different light and realize that we have begun to take a different road than we had anticipated.
This may happen in every aspect of life, but one of the most heartbreaking is realizing that your relationship is not turning out to be the happily ever after you hoped for. While some individuals choose to conclude a lengthy relationship with a clean split, others want to remain friends and communicate and even visit with one another on a regular basis.
If you wish to stay friends, here are some recommendations to help you get started on how to stay friends after a breakup:
- Have an open and honest discussion
- Understand your boundaries
- Ignore those who tell you it’s stupid
- Give it time
- When is being friends not OKAY
Table of Contents
Have an open and honest discussion.
If you’ve decided to stay friends, you must be both on the same page. Once you’ve made the decision to terminate the relationship, sit down and have an open and honest heart-to-heart conversation.
Is there hope for the future? What do you want the future to look like for you both? Friendship after a split is only possible if both sides desire it. You can’t compel an ex to be friends with you. If you can’t be friends after a breakup, accept the decision and go on.
Understand your boundaries
Being friends after a split is sometimes simpler in idea than it is in fact. That is why it is critical to establish and adhere to boundaries.
Will you still experience a pleasant flush of camaraderie after seeing your ex dating someone new? It is critical to let the past go and move on. You can’t keep repeating the same old issues that destroyed the relationship in the first place. You also cannot cross the boundary again and begin snuggling, kissing, or even holding hands. Things like these may appear little at the moment, but they may cause confusion and pain. It’s time to set a new baseline and stop comparing what you have to what you had.
Ignore those who tell you it’s stupid
People may doubt your decision to keep in touch with your ex, and their fears may be genuine. They were the ones that listened to your late-night phone calls and consoled you over Matt and Jerry’s as you told them how much you despised him.
Nonetheless, this is a personal choice. You can consider their advice, but if you think you can still be friends, it’s up to you. DON’T let people’s negative notions affect your decision and friendship.
Give it time
Friendship after a breakup is not the same as hanging out with the gals or conversing with other acquaintances. It frequently encounters trust concerns and must be addressed cautiously. Begin with a phone call or email now and again. Once you’re comfortable with that, try face-to-face meetings for coffee now and again. Give it time, don’t rush.
When is being friends after a breakup not OKAY?
An abusive, manipulative, or toxic relationship should never be converted into a friendship. Even if your relationship was generally healthy and just didn’t work out, you should consider twice before becoming friends. According to one 2000 study, friendships between ex-spouses were more likely to have bad features and less likely to have positive ones than normal platonic connections.
This is especially true if you were never friends before dating. There are several drawbacks to remaining nice with an ex. Sometimes that will prevent you from entering into a new relationship. The most significant disadvantage is being prevented from forming new relationships and having new experiences. Relying on friendship to soothe the agony after a breakup may appear to be a good tactic, but it can inhibit future progress.
Breakups usually hurt a lot. They make you feel worthless, heartbroken, unloved, used and so many yucky emotions all rushing through your mind. Overthinking takes over. The nights are sleepless and so hard then comes the day which is as hard as the nights. Well, the cycle continues and becomes a vicious one. That’s why after the breakup self-care is necessary. At Evolve US learn how to self-care after a breakup.
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